


Before I Knew You

by somanyfeels



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arc Reactor, Coma, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Getting to Know Each Other, Insecure Tony, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mutual Pining, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Protective Steve, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4677023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyfeels/pseuds/somanyfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve came out of the ice, he was stuck in a bed for weeks, unable to move and talk and everyone around him assumed he was unconscious.  But he wasn't, he was perfectly aware of everything going on around him, he heard everything the people around him said and very little of it made sense.  Until a man came into his room by mistake and kept coming back to visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before I Knew You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chibi_luna_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_luna_chan/gifts).



> This was a prompt given to me by Chibi_Luna_Chan and I hope you enjoy it. I worked hard and I think it turned out okay. Thank you all for reading.  
> @My Girl Bee, do not read this please. Read the tags and the warnings and you'll understand. I'm sorry I'm trash.

Steve wasn’t entirely aware of what was happening.  He could hear, there were people close to him talking and moving around.  He could feel them run their hands over his face but couldn’t move to stop them.  Then he would be alone, unable to see what room he was in or determine what the sounds around him were.  There was a rustling of something off to his left, a beeping to his right, and an electronic hum above him.  The blankets under his fingers seemed rough and stiff, the pillow under his head plush and smelled distinctly like cheap soap.

He couldn’t move, he was being held down by limp arms and legs and he couldn’t even will his eyes open.  Something was happening to him and he wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but he was trapped and confused.  Perhaps he had died, the last thing he remembered was crashing a plane into the Arctic, wishing Peggy a goodbye and imagining what the world he was leaving behind would turn into once the war ended.  Then he was here, shivering from a cold he could feel in his bones and the total immobility.

A door crashed open.  “Well, who might you be?”  A voice said, masculine and out of breath.  He walked with heavy, confident steps that Steve could recognize from men in positions of power.  He had been around enough rich socialites drooling over him after the serum and enough war generals to recognize authority.  He could hear the clatter of muffled footsteps running past.  “Sh, I just need to lay low for a while.  You won’t tell, will you?”

Just like that, light flooded Steve’s vision.  It was overwhelming at first, blurred objects barely visible.  The moment passed slowly and the lines became clearer to reveal an man hovering over him, his hands cupping Steve’s face as he held his eyes open.  His dark hair was short and fell over his eyes, sticking up in some places as if he had been running his fingers through it.  His eyebrows were drawn down in concentration and the lines in his face showed exhaustion.  Handsome, a pretty good sight for the first thing he gets to see after nearly dying.

“Hm, dead to the world.”  The man said.  He backed away, but thankfully left Steve’s eyes open.  The room was a bland beige color that made his eyes hurt more, the ceiling fan humming as it spun over him.  He couldn’t move his eyes that much, just barely enough to follow the man as he walked towards the end of his bed where a few folders and clipboards sat.

Steve wanted to scream at him, because he wasn’t ‘dead to the world’.  He was alive and awake, staring right at him.  He just couldn’t move!  The beeping grew slightly louder, causing the man to look up and towards something to the right of Steve, beyond his very small field of vision.

“Getting excited, are we?”  The man said, his voice was lower.  “I would be too if I was found frozen in the ice.  Not doing too bad though.  You’re alive, which is more we could say about most people in your situation.  It’s pretty vague here so I’ll have to dig up some more later.”

Yes, Steve knew that.  He was alive, he could think, hear, taste, and feel.  He just couldn’t move, paralyzed and unable to communicate.  Trapped in his own body.  With a man who was talking to him as if he was there and awake and listening when he clearly didn’t believe so.

“Tell you what, you’re a great listener and let me hide out in your room while security goes looking for me, they’re not smart enough to look at security footage so I guess I’m safe for the next five minutes, and I like you.  You don’t interrupt me.”  The man said, shooting Steve a bright smile that once again made the beeping pick up just a little bit.  “I’m not a biologist.  I think I dated a biologist once, feisty lady, but she hated how I did my hair.  It was never going to work between us, my hair is incredible and I deserve someone who appreciates it.  Anyway, I’m going to help you, buddy.”

Steve wasn’t sure how to feel about that.  This man didn’t seem like the kind of guy he would want poking at anything involved in a medical facility.  He didn’t fit Steve’s idea of a doctor, he fit more of Howard’s image of a mad but charming inventor.  Right now, Steve didn’t need someone like Howard, he needed someone like Erikson.  And Peggy, he needed Peggy.

The door opened and several men walked in, one was wearing the long white coat Steve associated with doctors and the other was in a strange looking suit.  Tony smiled at the two of them as they entered, showing a perfect set of white teeth.  “Hey, Agent.  Where ya been?”

“Mr. Stark, you do not have clearance to be here.”  The man said, looking more annoyed than anything else.  Until he turned his head towards Steve and something else filled his expression.  “You should leave.”

The doctor walked up quickly and with gentle hands he closed Steve’s eyes, leaving him alone in the darkness.  He could hear the man’s, Mr. Stark, steady footsteps out of the room and the door closing behind them.  Then it was silence again.  The loneliness was overwhelming when it was just Steve with his thoughts.  They called the man ‘Mr. Stark’ and the only Mr. Stark that Steve knew was Howard.  Perhaps he had a brother that he never mentioned or maybe it was just a coincidence.

Everything would be fine, he had to believe that because the idea of spending the rest of his life trapped in this bed with his body unable to move and people fluttering around him and thinking he was asleep sent shivers down his spine.  It was quickly getting frustrating how he was unable to communicate.  Trapped in his own body.

 

~~~

 

Steve liked to think he was actually asleep when his door opened again, some indistinguishable amount of time later because with his isolation from the world hours and days seemed to blend together.  Perhaps he was asleep, or he had just spent so much time with his eyes closed and his body immovable like he had for days before.  Or hours before.  It was hard to tell anymore.

It was the creak of the door opening that brought his attention, without his eyes open all he could really focus on was the feel of the blankets around him and the air blowing across his face and the sounds that he was beginning to memorize.  The footsteps that followed were soft, subdued and almost trying to be quiet.

“Hey, big guy.”  The voice said.  Stark, he was back.  “Don’t worry, I didn’t get into too much trouble.  Not that they could do anything to me anyway.  I had time to look into your case, curiosity got the better of me.”

There was an odd tone to his voice.  It was softer than it was before, almost slurred and confused.  Suddenly his eyes were opened again, not as gentle as they were before, but Steve understood once he his vision cleared and he got a look at the man hovering over him.  Stark’s eyes were red, unfocused and he swayed from foot to foot, the heavy scent of scotch on his breath.

“Captain America, back from the dead.”  He mumbled.  Stark backed away quickly, almost falling over in his rush to get away but just managing to catch himself on the nearby wall.  “Well, Howard would be glad to have you back.  You know, if he wasn’t taking a dirt nap.”

No, that was wrong.  Howard was alive just the other day.  Steve was with him right before he and the team left to take the Hydra base.  Howard was fine and certainly will be glad to have him back once the people who are holding him, they sounded American so Steve was going to guess that was a good thing, allowed him visitors.  Steve will get the rest of his mobility back soon.  The commandoes will come and they’ll give Bucky the memorial and sendoff he deserved.  Howard will come and they’ll laugh and cheer about defeating Hydra.  Peggy will come and they’ll finally have their dance, after months of seeing each other they’ll have a victory worthy of celebration and a chance to go out and be carefree together.

“Lost from the world for damn near seventy years.  Then you just pop up out of the ice and decide to keep on sleeping.”  Stark said slowly.  His words ran through Steve’s head over and over, trying to find some hidden meaning besides the obvious.  It couldn’t possibly be true, that sort of thing was impossible.  The ice couldn’t have kept him frozen for seventy years.

Stranger things had happened though.  He was essentially a science experiment by a German doctor, given a _magic_ serum that fixed all of his physical ailments.  His greatest enemy is a man who he literally saw rip his own face off to reveal a bright red mess of shiny skin that clung to the bone. 

An overwhelming feeling of grief crashed into him as he thought about his life.  Peggy and his team were waiting for him.  The commandos were supposed to get together in Paris for drinks and mourn fallen comrades if all went well, his name was probably next to Bucky’s when they had their meeting.  Bucky had been gone for the better part of a century, the world moved on without him and kept on spinning without even getting a chance to know the kind and brilliant man Steve had grown up with.  Peggy, she probably had lived a long and happy life.  Maybe she found someone else, the right partner who made dates and was perfect all on their own without any science experiments.  Perhaps she had forgotten about him after all this time.

“I’m pretty pissed at you.”  Stark said, he was sitting on the floor now with his head back against the beige wall.  “Kinda wish you would have shown up sooner.  Just a few decades and maybe he would have stopped focusing so much on you that he would have noticed I was there.  Can’t change the past though and you were dead, it’s impossible to compete with the dead.”

He didn’t move, he just closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Steve still didn’t quite believe it, but looking at the man in front of him he could see how run down, exhausted, and defeated he looked.  He had seen the same expression over and over again in the trenches of Europe and perhaps this Stark was a soldier.

“Name’s Tony, by the way.  Since I know yours, Captain Steven Grant Rogers, then it’s only fair that you know mine.”  Tony said, smiling a hollow smile that seemed like a half-assed attempt at putting on a show.  “Howard was my dad, I think you knew him.  Thought the world of you.”

He pushed himself up slowly and staggered over to Steve, stopping once he was hovering over him with their faces inches apart.  His breath still smelled like scotch and his balance caused him to rock back and forth as his dull gaze drifted over Steve’s face.

“Promise is a promise, right?  And you are a surprisingly good listener, so I’ll help you out.”  Tony said, his words a bit more slurred than before.  “I’ll find a way to wake you up, bring you back to the land of the living, and then that will be that.  Just because you seem like a cool guy, and by that I mean you don’t interrupt me while I talk.  Good cheekbones too.”

For just a moment Steve was confused on whether or not Tony knew he was conscious and aware or if he just talked to everyone and everything like this, like they were listening and talking back to him even when they weren’t.  The latter seemed far more likely because even the doctors were certain that Steve was asleep and unaware.

Tony’s gentle fingers brushed over his eyelids and slid them shut.

“Get some sleep, okay Goldilocks?”  Tony whispered.  Then footsteps and a closing door and he was alone with nothing but his grief to keep him company.

 

~~~

 

Tony came back regularly over the next few days.  It was always when no one else was around and always under the circumstances that no one knew where he was and that he wasn’t supposed to be there.  Sometimes he would talk nonstop about what he found out about Steve’s condition and the ideas he had to wake him up, other time he sat there silently and contemplated him like he was a puzzle to be solved.

When Tony came back one night and Steve’s eyes opened at hearing his familiar footsteps.  Steve could open and close his eyes now.  The doctors called it heightened cognitive functions in unconsciousness brought on by the serum.  It wasn’t that, Steve was awake.

“You should be super excited, Sleeping Beauty.  I think I figured it out.  Very technical and very biological, spent countless hours looking over Erkson’s notes.  You’re gonna be just fine.”  Tony said.  His eyes were read and the deep bags under them indicated lack of sleep.  Steve was thrilled about the news of being mobile again, but he wasn’t quite sure what he would do first.   Either go to a bar where he could drink as much as he wanted and be just fine as he tried to mourn the loss of everything in his life, or he would put Tony to bed.  “Gonna have the time of your life.  I hope you’re ready for the future!  It’s great, Stark technology everywhere.  Just wait until you see the internet.  All the knowledge in the world at the tip of your fingers.”

Tony went on to describe the future as if it was a technological wonderland.  He had a certain fascination with all the devices in his world, and a definite hope of what might be to come.  His eyes sparkled when he talked about clean energy and an arc reactor and how the world would be so much better once they didn’t have to worry about power.  He also seemed very tired.

“I’m a bit scared.”  Tony said, his voice cracking as he looked away from Steve.  “I mean, I like visiting you.  Probably because you never interrupt me.  You never get annoyed.  Not a lot of people can do that, they all get sick of me eventually.  So once you wake up and meet me for the first time, what are you going to think?”

He looked so devastated, as if just the idea of Steve getting annoyed with him would destroy him completely.  It was ridiculous.  Steve was stuck in bed, had lost everything he had ever known, and when thoughts of Peggy or Bucky would overwhelm his head and things started to feel like too much, then Tony would come and excitedly talk about what was going on outside that room and the lives of people Steve had never met.  Tony had brought a thin, metal rectangle once that lit up on one side and he had read the news from that.  A lot of it seemed pretty normal, like how it used to be, but there were also a lot of things Steve didn’t quite understand.  Steve could listen to Tony talk for hours because he was the only one who ever really talked to him, everyone else just examined his body and then moved on.

“Howard always talked about you like you were perfect, the only good thing there ever was in his life.  He went looking for you, never stopped looking for you.  And now you’re here and he is missing it.  You’re here and he isn’t here and you’re going to be stuck with me.”  Tony said.  Steve didn’t like his tone, how he was talking about himself as if he was nothing, or a cheap replica of something amazing.  No matter how amazing Tony was at talking to Steve as if he was awake and actively listening, it was clear that he thought he was asleep and not hearing a thing.

“You’ll hate me.  You’re the good guy, the hero.  You saved the world.  I’m just me, a former weapons manufacturer with a hole in his chest.”  Tony said.  He leaned against the wall and slid to the floor.  Steve’s eyes immediately darted to Tony’s chest, noting the slight glow that had been there for a while but Steve had never been able to understand.  “God, you’re going to hate me.  Aren’t you a Dodgers fan?  Well, I can’t stand baseball.  I’m more of a racing fan, I own a race car and everything.  I drove it once but it didn’t end well.  What else?  I sleep around, I like to think me and Pepper could have been something more, but it’s kinda hard to date someone who already knows everything about you.  We had a good few months, the best months of my life and I loved her so much.  I’m very lucky I didn’t ruin that like I did everything else because she’s still here.  She’s CEO now and still in my life and I love her.  But I don’t do relationships and so I just have sex with so many people and none of it ever last for more than a few days.  You’re going to hate me so much.  You’re the kinda guy who takes a girl out and buys her roses, no don’t do that because roses are stupid you should buy her daisies instead, and then you fall in love with her and then have sex.”

Steve listened to every word, committing them to memory.  He wouldn’t hate Tony, he could probably never hate him.  He was his only friend in the 21st century and the only person who took the time to keep him company.  As far as Steve knew, Tony was the only person who had made great strides in waking him up.

“Just go easy on me, okay?”  Tony said slowly as he pushed himself up off of the ground.  “My heart’s not really what it used to be so try not to hurt me too bad.  Feel free to call me all the names you want, but please don’t tell me I’m not good enough.  I try, and I know.  Hearing you say it might just be took much.  Okay?”

With that he pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead, something he only ever did when he was either intoxicated or severely sleep deprived.  Steve desperately wanted to call out to Tony, to tell him everything would be alright and if he needed someone to sleep next to then he could climb into bed with him.  He couldn’t open his mouth to speak to him, couldn’t move his body to stop him, and Tony walked out the door.

 

~~~

 

It was true.  Everything Tony had said was true.  He really was in the future, only now he got to see it firsthand.  The world was changed.  Everything seemed faster, more efficient.  It was quieter and louder at the same time.  Familiar and completely alien.

It didn’t take long for SHIELD to release him, offering him an apartment that was frequently used as a safe house for their agents and a handful of files on what the world was like today and what had happened to the people he knew.  Howard had died at an old age, living his whole life until a car accident took him and left the world a lonely teenage boy.  Steve was surprised to hear that Stark Industries had become almost entirely focused on weapons, the Howard he knew had dreams of flying cars and advancing medical technology and everything good about the future.  Peggy had been the director of SHIELD, had worked hard for the SSR and proving how capable and professional she was at every turn.  She had gotten married somewhere down the road, was happy and as lively as she had always been.  Steve was happy for her.  Now she was in a nursing home in DC, and Steve was left to wonder if visiting her would put either of them at ease.

There was a file of Tony too, Steve was almost tempted not to read it.  He read it anyway because in the days he had been ‘awake’ Tony hadn’t come to visit, hadn’t called him or come looking for him.  Steve wondered if Tony’s friendship only came with the condition that he not know about it, as if Tony was only going to offer up his companionship and a glimpse into his head to people who didn’t know what they were being given.  It didn’t sit right with him.

Tony was born in Manhattan in 1970, long after Steve went into the ice and long after the war had ended.  Steve briefly wondered what it had been like to grow up with such wealthy and famous parents in a time period like that.  The file said it was very lonely, that Howard was either off looking for him or tending to his company while his wife Maria, although she did spend more time with the boy, was usually off to some exotic country or working for a thousand charities.  The closest people Tony had been to was the butler and his wife, who lived in the guest house.  They died around the same time as Howard and Maria.  Tony had been a teenager, alone with a man who apparently tried to kill him and with a company that centered around building weapons.

He should call him, explain to him that he had been awake the whole time.  Steve would tell him that he was a good man and a great friend, that he was the only one who made those weeks frozen in bed manageable.  He would tell Tony that he missed his smiles and the rambling, that he missed the way Tony’s face would fill his entire field of vision when he leaned over him.  Steve should call him.

 

~~~

 

“Mr. Stark.”

“Captain.”

This wasn’t how he wanted their meeting to go.  Not with an enemy, an alien, on the ground in front of them and a crowd of frightened Germans running away.  Natasha was in the jet, hovering just above them.

When Tony took off the helmet he wouldn’t even look at Steve, just kept a close eye on the prisoner and chatted with Natasha as if she was an old friend he was content with.  “Fury didn’t tell me he was calling you in.”  Steve said, trying to initiate conversation.

Tony said something back to him, he didn’t quite catch it.  Steve had become entranced with the way Tony’s lips moved and the rise of his eyebrow.  His eyes were larger that Steve remembered, bright and shiny and Steve thought he could look at them forever.  It almost hurt that Tony was going to pretend like this was their first meeting, as if those weeks he had snuck into Steve’s room was nothing.

Steve desperately tried to get to know him, to hold him and thank him and build their friendship once again.  Tony seemed almost determined to fight him, to antagonize him one moment and then turn dismissive the next.  If he hadn’t know better he would have taken the bait and fought with him, screamed at him and fought back.  Steve did know better though, Tony was trying to prove himself right.  Tony wanted to know that Steve really did hate him.

It had taken an alien invasion to get Tony to stop fighting with him and several weeks of self-imposed isolation for Tony to accept Steve’s invitation to hang out.  They could be friends, it’s what Steve wanted.  He wanted to be close to Tony, to hear him laugh like he used to, to listen to him while he rambled about science or his feelings.  He wanted to hold him tight, bury his face in that dark head of hair, and get lost in the feeling of being close to him.

 

~~~

 

Steve was allowed in the tower whenever he wanted.  More surprisingly, and amazing, was that Tony allowed him into the workshop.  Steve loved the place, Tony was always working on something, lounging around in tight tank tops and stained jeans as he had his hand buried into a pile of metal and wires.  His robots always greeted Steve with enthusiasm, the AI was polite and friendly, and Tony was always confused, but pleased, to see him.

“What are you working on?”  Steve asked, dragging a stool over to where Tony was working.

“New cloaking technology for the suit.”  Tony said, his eyes focused on the thing in front of him.  “Tired of missiles shooting me out of the sky.”

Steve was both concerned and relieved.  The last time they had a mission an RPG his Tony in the chest and he had fallen straight to the ground.  There was the overwhelming fear that he was dead, that Steve would never see his smile again, or get to thank him for bringing his mobility back.  Tony had very well saved his life and although Steve didn’t know how, he was immensely grateful.

Tony had gotten out of the battle with a few bruised ribs, but otherwise was fine.  He didn’t understand Steve’s hovering or his insistence that he let the medics look him over.  Steve didn’t understand it either, just that he was protective of a man he barely spoke to and knew better than anyone else in the world. 

“Explain it to me.”

As if those were the magic words, Tony’s face lit up with excitement as he went on to explain the wiring and the power source, how it was supposed to work and how it would keep him safe.  Steve loved listening to him talk.  He loved the way the words rolled off of Tony’s tongue and the way his mouth moved.  Kissing Tony was as easy as listening to him was, it had happened before Steve even knew he was moving.  It was thrilling and amazing, electric current and burning heat burst from where Tony’s mouth pressed against his.

Tony seemed to lean into him, his hands leaving his project and curling into Steve’s hair to try to hold him close and Steve thought maybe Tony was afraid he would pull away.  Their bodies pressed together tightly.

“Stop.”  Tony whispered.  Steve stopped, pulling back to look at him.  He hadn’t realized they had moved, Steve was hovering over Tony, who was now lying against his workbench.  “Can’t take the virtue of America’s Sweetheart on a grease stained table.”

“A date then?”  Steve said quickly.  He distantly recalled Tony telling him he didn’t date.  “Do you want to go on a date?  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but I could really go for a date.”

~~~

 

“I thought you would be more into baseball.”  Tony said as he looked over the racetrack.  Fast cars were zooming by as a crowd cheered.  “You said we were going to see some sports so I thought baseball.”

Steve shrugged.  “Baseball is alright, but you gotta love cars.  Technological wonders, they are.”  He said.  “I like seeing how fast they can go.  And there’s nothing better than a little friendly competition.”

Tony chuckled at that and took a large sip of his 44oz drink.  Another surprising thing about the future, everyone wanted more of everything.  It was actually refreshing, Steve had lived through the Depression and he liked knowing the future generations could have as much as they wanted.  It held a certain kind of security with it.

Steve slipped his arm over Tony’s shoulders as one car pulled in front of another and Tony threw his arms up with a cheerful shout.  His expression fell quickly and he sat back in  his seat, contemplating Steve with a curious gaze.

“The engines sound beautiful.  It’s hard to make them out over all of the cars and people, but you can really hear the craftsmanship in the machines if you pay attention.”  Tony said, sticking the straw in his mouth again.

Steve listened to Tony carefully, waiting for him to start his long speech on the structure of race car engines and hang on every word that he said.  Tony didn’t say any more.  Instead he pulled out his phone and checked the time. 

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.”  Tony said flatly.  “I’m not going to stop funding the Avengers just because you and I don’t get alone.  I’m not going to stop making equipment because you can’t stand me.”

Steve frowned and pulled Tony closer.  “Nah, you’re an idiot.  I like you.”  He said as he pressed his lips against Tony’s hair.  “You’re smart and passionate and generous.  Of course I like you.  I like the way your eyelashes hit your cheeks when you blink and how your nose wrinkles whenever I say something cute to you.”

Tony blinked, probably thinking about what he had said and trying to decide if it was sincere or not.  Steve leaned down and pressed their lips together.  Kissing Tony was incredible, had been every chance he had to do it.  Tony was always responsive, leaning in and opening himself up to Steve and maybe he wanted it too.  Perhaps he was afraid, uncertain of his intentions or worried that things might not work out.  Or maybe he was scared that they would.

 

~~~

For their second date, Steve took Tony to an Italian restaurant.  Spaghetti was his favorite dish, Tony had told him once.  He had gone in his nicest clothes, his Sunday best, and gave him a bundle of daisies.  He smiled when fondness and joy broke across Tony’s features.

“You know, most guys buy roses.”  Tony said.  He went back into his penthouse to put them into a vase.  “They are considered romantic.  I don’t know what daisies are supposed to mean.”

“Nah, I won’t get you roses.”  Steve said, shaking his head.  Tony frowned, looking back at Steve.  “I like daisies better and you deserve only the best, so why not get you a better flower.  Roses are stupid."

 

~~~

 

The first time they had sex it was when Tony invited him over for a movie.  They had been dating for months, the team had caught on and Natasha would waggle her eyebrows whenever she saw the two of them together, Clint would ask too many personal questions, Bruce threatened him and told him to be gentle with his friend, and Thor simply congratulated him.  Rhodes threatened him too, although he implied more violence.

It started out innocently enough.  They kissed.  Steve always became overwhelmed when they kissed.  He wanted to be close to him, to melt into him and feel his heartbeat through his chest and feel each one of Tony’s breaths.

“Is this okay?”  Steve asked as he laid Tony down on the couch.

“Yeah, this is perfect.”  Tony whispered, pressing his face into Steve’s neck.

He shivered at the open-mouthed kisses that Tony placed there, sucking on each section of sensitive skin he could find.  Tony had opened his legs, giving Steve the perfect place to slide into.  He had the perfect angle to bite Tony’s shoulder, to leave possessive marks and watch Tony squirm under him.  When Steve sunk his teeth into the tender flesh, Tony pushed at his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.”  Steve said quickly, pulling back.  “Was that wrong?”

Tony moaned and shook his head.  “No, no that was just right.”  He said, breathless.  His hands curled into the hem of Steve’s shirt.  “Off.”

Taking off his shirt was more exciting than it should have been.  The idea of pressing his bare chest against Tony’s skin seemed like paradise.  Once Tony’s shirt was gone, a soft blue light filling the space between them, Steve’s eyes snapped to the source.  He knew about the reactor.  It had been in the files, he had caught glimpses of it through thin fabric shirts and even seen a photograph or two.  This was different.  He could make out the detail of the reactor, see the scars that curled off of the metal, and memorize the way his chest expanded around it with each breath.

“I can…”  Tony said slowly, his hands reaching up to hide it from view.  “I can wear a shirt, if you want.  Or I can roll over.”

“No.  Please don’t.”  Steve whispered.  “You’re beautiful like this.”  He leaned down and brushed his lips over the raised, scarred skin.  Tony’s breath hitched as his fingers curled around Steve’s hair.

“Might need to get your eyes checked, soldier.”  Tony said.  His voice was void of all humor or sarcasm.  “It’s ugly.”

Steve lift his head, removing his mouth from Tony’s chest, and looked up at him.  “No, sweetheart.  Nothing about you is ugly.  I fell in love with the way you talk, with the way you move, and I can’t get enough of you.  You’re not ugly.  You’re beautiful in every way I can think of.”

Tony crinkled his nose, Steve knew that face.  It was the same face he made whenever someone said something nice and sweet to him, it was his way of blushing without actually blushing.  Steve loved that look on his face, it was just another thing on the list of reasons he loved Tony Stark.

“Is this alright?  You can tell me to stop.”  Steve said as his hands drifted down Tony’s hips and rested against the tops of his jeans.  Tony nodded quickly, reaching down and opening the button.

Steve was less graceful removing his pants.  When he took off his shirt it was just out of desire to feel as much of Tony’s skin against his as possible.  Now, it was pure need, he wanted Tony more than anything else in the world in that moment.  He paused once they were both naked, suddenly he felt as if he had been given the greatest gift the universe had to offer.

“What do you want?”  Tony asked.  “I’ll give you anything.”

Steve took a moment to think it through.  “I want to be as close to you as possible.  To hold you, melt into you.  I want you to be mine forever.”

Tony chuckled and nodded.  “That can be arranged.”

He needed to be close to Tony, needed to touch him and hold him and he made no sounds of protest when Steve pressed against him.  They were kissing again, Tony’s tongue darting into his mouth the moment his lips parted.  Legs wrapped around Steve’s waist as the sound of a bottle opened.

“What’s that?”  Steve asked, pulling back.  The sound of something wet caught his attention and he looked around for the source of the noise.

“Relax, Captain Frisbee.  It’s just lube, I have it conveniently stashed all over the place in case the mood strikes.  It’s gonna make-“  Tony cut himself off with a sharp breath that quickly turned into a moan.  “Gonna make this whole thing easier.”

Steve was mesmerized by Tony’s face, the way his mouth dropped open when he grunted or when he squeezed his eyes closed with breathy moans.  The whole while Tony was gently rocking his hips against Steve’s, sending fiery jolts of electricity every time they slid together at just the right angle.  Steve was pretty sure he could get off on just this.  With Tony, beautiful and incredible, underneath him and just the casual friction against his cock.

One of Tony’s hands wrapped around Steve, taking his length and sliding a slick hand up and down.  Steve bucked, chasing after the movement and biting his lip.  It was good, so incredibly amazing and it had been so long that he just wanted more.  Then the hand was gone and Tony was tilting his hips upward.

“Okay, I’m ready.”  Tony said, his voice shaky with what Steve hoped was pleasure.  “Slide on in, cowboy.”

One of Steve’s hands went to Tony’s hip, the other was pressed down against the cushion by Tony’s head to hold him up.  “Are you sure?”  Steve asked.  Tony nodded.  “I need to hear you say it.”

“Jesus, yes.  I’m sure.  Absolutely, 100% positive that I want you to fuck me right now.”  Tony said quickly.

Steve slid forward, stopping just as he started to sink into Tony.  The feeling was almost too overwhelming and he didn’t want it to end before it began.  He sank slowly into Tony, bit by bit until he was fully seated and almost out of breath.  This was it.  This was the closest he would ever be to Tony and it was better than he had imagined.  This was a religious experience if he had ever had one.  He had gone to church, gone to war, had almost died in a crashing plane, and if there was anything that seemed to cleanse his soul and make him holy and righteous it was the fact that Tony was giving him this.  That he was somehow worthy of being close to Tony in the most intimate sense.

He stayed like that for a little while, savoring the feeling of Tony around him and underneath him.  Tony’s hips moved slightly, thrusting up against Steve’s stomach and gently jostling his dick that was still buried inside of him.  After a little while Tony started to whine softly, his small thrusts weren’t satisfying enough and Steve was probably taking too long.  He pulled out and pushed back in, slowly and gently.

Tony was very vocal.  Not in the sense that he spoke, but in that he moaned and grunted with each of Steve’s movements.  Sometimes even aborted sentences and breathy words would be heard.  Steve loved it.  He loved hearing Tony.  He loved the fast breathing he would hear every time he pressed back in.

“Faster.  You can go faster, baby.”  Tony said, his voice barely a whisper against Steve’s ear.

The next time Steve pulled out, he snapped his hips forward with excited enthusiasm.  The faster Steve got, the louder Tony was.  He kept going, his hips thrusting quickly into Tony and feeling the press of his skin was giving him energy.  It was like learning Tony all over again, which angle caused him to melt with pleasure and which parts of Tony’s neck got the most positive responses to being bitten.  He was gentle, even when he was rough.  He never bit Tony hard enough to break skin, he never held on hard enough to bruise, and he stopped himself from falling over the edge where he would thrust too hard and too fast.  Hurting Tony was the opposite of what he wanted to do.

Steve removed his hand from Tony’s hip and slid it in between them, grabbing Tony’s length from where it was pressed between their stomachs.  Stroking him was almost as exciting as fucking him because the moment his hand enclosed around Tony’s hardened cock a strangled moan escaped from him and his hips jerked forward.

“Love you.”  Steve groaned, jerking Tony quickly.  “I love you so much.  Come on, doll.  Come for me.”

Tony arched up against him, releasing himself into Steve’s fingers.  He spasmed around Steve’s dick, adding more pressure and more sensation until Steve found himself pressing forward and deeper and climaxing.  He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his chest against Tony’s.  He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but gentle hands ran up his sides and across his back in feather light touches that almost tickled.

“Shit!”  Steve said, shooting up and pulling out of Tony.  “I shouldn’t have done that, I didn’t ask!”

“What?”  Tony said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.  “What are you talking about?”

Steve waved his hands between them, noting how sweaty and blissful Tony looked.  “I shouldn’t have… in there.  Not without asking.”  He said.  He couldn’t say it, so he just kept waving his hands around.

“Wait.  Are you apologizing for coming in my ass?”  Tony said, a fond smile breaking across his face.  Steve shrugged, he could feel his face burn red hot.  “God, you’re adorable.  Don’t worry about it.  I’m the one who couldn’t be bothered to go looking for a condom and if I didn’t want you like that then I would have told you to pull out.  Nothing you did was unwanted.”

“You sure?”  Steve asked.  Tony nodded quickly and made grabby hands until Steve laid back down on top of him.

They laid like that for a while.  They should probably get up and clean themselves.  They were sweaty and the drying sensation of semen on their stomachs wasn’t pleasant.  Steve could only imagine how Tony must be feeling.  He couldn’t move though, not when he could lay his head down next to the reactor and hear Tony’s heart beat underneath it.

Tony didn’t seem to intent on moving either.  Instead he just ran his hands through Steve’s hair and hummed a tuneless song.

“Did you mean it?”  He asked eventually.  Steve looked up at him in question.  Tony looked nervous, biting his lower lip as if he was scared the words would come out on their own.  “When you said you loved me.  Did you mean it?”

“Yeah.  I did.”  Steve said, smiling up at him.  “I’ve loved you for a long time.  I loved you when you saved the world, when all you wanted to do was fight, I loved you when you avoided me, and I loved you that first day when you snuck into my room back at SHIELD.  I loved you wh-“

“What?  What was that?”  Tony asked quickly.

“Hmm?”  Steve hummed.  He was confused until he thought about what he had said.  Then he focused in on Tony’s panicked expression.  He had to explain.  “Everyone thought I was asleep.  I wasn’t.  I… heard you.  I could always hear you.”

“No.”  Tony said, disbelieving.  “Your brain scans showed just enough activity to show you weren’t dead.  You had such low brain activity it could only point toward unconsciousness.”

Steve shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Glitch in the serum.”  He said.  Tony was pushing at his shoulders now and rolling off of the couch.  Steve backed away willingly.  “Hey, please don’t.  It wasn’t like that.  I loved listening to you, I love you!”

“All of it?  You heard all of it?”  Tony said.  His chest was rising and falling quickly, his hands shooting up to grip at his hair.

Steve nodded and then Tony stood up.  He reached out for him, to stop him from running and hiding like he knew he would, but Tony jumped away from his hand.  Faster than Steve had time to react, he scooped his jeans up off of the ground and made a mad dash for the elevator.  Steve stayed stunned in place.

 

~~~

 

Tony had hidden himself away, locked the doors of his workshop, and refused to see anyone.  Steve waited, he sat by the glass doors and waited for any response to his frequent callings.  The glass was frosted over, blank white that he couldn’t see through, couldn’t hear through, and was left to stare at and contemplate. 

“So, the whole time?”  Natasha asked when she came down to check on him.  Steve nodded.  “What kind of stuff did he tell you, when we all thought you were sleeping?”

Steve sighed.  “He talked about a lot of… really personal stuff that he never tells anybody.  He only told me because he thought I was asleep.”  He said.  This had turned into quite the mess and Steve wasn’t sure how to fix it.  Tony had locked himself away out of fear, or a sense of betrayal, or any number of things and it was all his fault.  He had to find a way to make things right.  “He called me a ‘great listener’.  It was a joke to him, that he could tell me anything in the world as if I could hear him but he had this sense of security knowing I couldn’t.”

Natasha hummed, listening to each word Steve had to say.  She would know what to do, she always knew what to do.  “You screwed up, Rogers.  Broke trust.”

“I know.  How do I fix it?”  Steve asked.  Natasha shrugged.  “Come on, Nat.  You know Tony more than anyone else in the tower.  I don’t want to call up Pepper and ask her for relationship advice when I’m seeing her ex and I don’t want to interrupt Rhodes while he’s on a mission.  That makes you, the person who spied on his company and has known him for some time, the person who knows him best.”

Natasha sighed and shook her head.  “I’m not going to talk about him to you.  I’m not taking sides in this.  You messed up, you gotta fix it.”  She said as she walked back towards the door.  “Let me know if you need anything.  I expect you to be there a while, Tony can work for a long time when he gets into the mood for it.”

He respected Natasha.  Steve considered her a close friend in a world he didn’t know, someone he could trust, and he understood why she wouldn’t help.  She was Tony’s friend too.  Forcing her to pick a side and help him get through to Tony wasn’t fair to any of them.

Clint had no problem helping though.  As much as he loved watching drama from a distance -and sometimes even instigating it for entertainment- he agreed that after a week of self-imposed isolation it was time to intervene.  Steve was too large to fit into the vents or through any of the windows, so he had to wait as Clint found his way into Tony’s lab and then opened the door from within.

It just meant more waiting.  And getting Jarvis on their side, which was easier than he had expected it to be.  So mostly it was the waiting.  Sneaking into one of the most secure rooms in the country was probably difficult, but Clint did it about once a month.  It was probably the same old song and dance for him, but with each passing second the ball of tension in the pit of Steve’s stomach wound itself tighter until he felt about ready to break apart.

When the door finally opened with the sound of a shouting Tony and a quickly retreating Clint, Steve jumped at the chance and ran straight in.  The workshop looked the same as it always did, projects in various states of development, half-finished suits hanging up on chains or lying around in pieces, and the complete ones either on display on the far wall or in his vault waiting to be used.  Tony was a mess, his hair was sticking up in different directions and was greasy and dirty in a way that hinted at his last shower being some time away.  His eyes were bloodshot and darted over Steve’s body with cautious panic.  The worst part was when he marched right up to him and tried to shove Steve away.

“The fuck do you want, Rogers?”  Tony shouted.  “Why are you here?  You weren’t invited, you aren’t welcome!  Just want to invade my space and my privacy and do whatever the fuck you want to do!”

“Tony…”

“It was all just a huge joke to you, wasn’t it?”  Tony was yelling louder than Steve had ever heard him.  In fact, Steve wasn’t sure if he had ever heard Tony shout.  Most of his arguments were done in a cool and menacing tone and the suit projected his voice loudly in battle for the enemies, Tony never actually shouted.  “You had a laugh, huh?  Now you want to just throw everything I said back into my face!  I bet that will be hilarious.”

Steve took a step forward as Tony tried to shove him away again, this time wrapping his arms around him and holding him close, tight enough to hopefully comfort but loose enough for Tony to get away if he wanted to.  Tony thrashed for a bit, screaming and hitting at his chest.  It didn’t take long for him to relax and lean into Steve, his shoulders heaving and trembling to the sound of muffled sobs.

“Sweetheart, I wasn’t tricking you.”  Steve whispered slowly.  “Well, technically I was.  But I just wanted to take you to places you would like and buy you the flowers you prefer and make you happy.  Because I like you.”

Tony shook his head.  “You’re a piece of shit.”

“I know.  I still like you though.”  Steve said.  “Before, back when the whole world thought I was asleep and couldn’t hear a thing, you were the only person who actually talked to me.  Everyone else talked around me or talked about me, but you talked to me.  It helped keep me sane, kept me connected to the world.  Being trapped in your body is a terrible feeling.”

“Yeah, I bet.”  Tony said.  He sounded exhausted.  “Finding out the guy you’re into, and fucking trusted, has been using the information you gave him without being aware of it just so he could win you over, sleep with him, and then have a great big laugh kinda hurts a bit too.”

“I wasn’t, it wasn’t like that.  You told me a lot of personal things and I just wanted to make you happy.”  Steve said quickly, thinking about the way Tony’s eyes lit up as he watched the racecars or the dorky smile he had when Steve gave him the daisies.  “Most importantly, you were so certain that I would hate you.  I don’t hate you, you were my first friend in this century and you mean the world to me.”

Tony leaned forward and buried his face into Steve’s chest.  “Just shut up, Spangles.  Let me be upset.”

“Okay, but I love you.  I hope you know that.”  Steve said.  Tony froze and relaxed almost simultaneously.  “I love the warm brown of your eyes, I love your stupid goatee, I love it every time you speak to me about anything in the world, I love your sex noises, and I love you.”

“My goatee is not stupid.”  Tony said.

“No?”

“No, it isn’t.  It’s manly and cool.”  Tony pulled back, pushing himself out of Steve’s arms and taking a few steps back.  “What do you want?”

Steve frowned.  “I kinda want to kiss you.  Is that okay?”

Tony shrugged.  “If this is a trick then I’ll probably kill you.”

“Not a trick, darling.”  Steve said, shaking his head.

“Okay then.  You can kiss me.”  As Steve stepped forward, excitement and relief flooding into him, Tony put an arm up to hold him back.  “Just promise me that the next time I try to tell you something personal you tell me right away that you’re listen.”

“I couldn’t really do that last time, but I’ll do it in the future.”  Steve said.  “I promise.”

Kissing Tony was amazing, always will be.  It sent a quick thrill shooting through him and it was a feeling he wanted to have for the rest of his life.  Steve pulled back just enough to run his mouth over Tony’s jaw and neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses.

“Go easy on me, Steve.  My hearts not what it used to be.”  Tony whispered.

“I know.”  Steve said, taking Tony’s face in his hands.  “I’ll take good care of it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am currently not taking any more prompts at the moment, but feel free to read any of the other stories I'm working on.  
> @Chibi_Luna_Chan, thank you for the prompt and I hope you liked it. There was 2k of smut. Enjoy your porn (this is only my second time writing smut so let me know if it was awkward). I loved writing this and I hope you all liked reading it.  
> Thank you! Feel free to leave a comment.


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